Going Forward

Today is the anniversary of my high school graduation. On that long ago day, I looked forward to life’s journey with hope. As a reader, I wanted to write. I wrote poetry, as teens do. But creating a novel was a foggy dream.

Years passed. I worked, read, met my future love, read with him, married, read some more. We parented three sons and I read to them. Eventually, I learned how to write a whole novel. I wrote one then another, and another. I just couldn’t pull enough together to publish them. As a born procrastinator, I found distractions.

Over the last year or so, mainly since Mom’s passing, I’ve come to a fork in the road. I can take one of three paths.

1 – I can keep traveling the same path…churning out new novels, never finishing some, never polishing others quite enough. But I’ve been plodding that muddy path for a long time now. It’s not getting me anywhere.

2 – I can pack it all away and forge ahead toward a new life, new adventures. I’d enjoy planting flowers. I’d love to return to college. Our house needs some major rehab. Traveling for adventure, not the latest writer’s conference, is appealing. But then…I wouldn’t be writing. My characters, those voices in my head, would shrivel and die. I can’t do that to them, or to me.

3 – The third path requires resolve. No more dabbling. No more distractions. This is the year I WILL publish. I’m in good shape for it. My skills and knowledge have improved. I have supportive friends and family, as never before. Despite a day job and a husband, I can squeeze in the time. I find such a resolution incredibly exciting, and a bit frightening. But this is the path I’m taking.

Have you ever felt on the edge of such joy, and fear? How did you handle it?

9 thoughts on “Going Forward

  1. Hi Deb!Hope this blog helps keep you motivated, Lord knows we could all use some motivation. ;-)~Donna Kowalczyk

  2. Deb, I handle being on the edge of fear and joy by just moving on. Setting a goal and writing. Tonight I have a fun scene planned, at least the beginning. After the first couple pages, I have no idea what I’ll be doing. Good luck!

  3. Hi Deb,
    Oh yes, I’ve been in that exact spot. Time moved on, and I kept writing and before I knew it I couldn’t stop if I tried.

    Writing is something you give up after a year or two, or it stays in your blood forever.

    Sandy

  4. Thank you all! I appreciate your words, your wisdom, and the fact that you took the time to respond. Jan – I love the Twain quote. He’s a favorite. Keep writing, everyone!

  5. Deb,You’re blog post is really well-written, so I’m sure success can’t be far behind if you stay committed.As for being on the edge of fear and joy, I’d like to offer a song quote on contemplating a leap of faith.”Promise or a dare? I would jump if I knew you’d catch me. Staring over the edge, I can’t tell if you’ll be here for me.”You just have to leap anyway.Kara

  6. Deb, it took me a while (a long while!) but I discovered that when I feel blocked (that is, when I don’t know what comes next in the story and have that awful feeling that I’ll never find out), I just relax and read something on my TBR pile. The right thing has crept into my mind often enough that I don’t panic any more. Please visit my blog at http://www.RainshadowRomance.comLynnette Baughman

  7. Deb, I enjoyed reading your post and felt your frustration, as well as your hopes and dreams. As artists, I think most of us are angst ridden. I have a mantra that gets me through.”My passion is stronger than my fear.” No matter the fear, I never let it hold me back. I suck it up and press on. Only in doing so have I experienced so mant tremendous highs.You can do this! Go, Deb, go!

  8. Deb
    Love your blog. I love Beth Ciotta’s quote as well ! Ah, Passion!! Everyone needs passion for something to make their life rich and full. Sometimes that passion causes angst – but -life without it would be so much less. Dear sister – writing was born into you! You were meant to write. Keep stringing those beads!!!!
    Paula

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